Monday, May 17, 2004


I know I got into this I think. I'm not really submissive but do like to be spanked and other pain. I think it's more about loving discipline. I grew up where spank was a norm. Now you might think I was spanked to much. On the contrary, I think I wasn't spanked enough. I was an only child. My cousins were spanked a lot when they were bad(not lovingly). I wasn't spanked but a few times. However I did fear being spanked. Once was nothing and the other time was at 16 it was not too much. Growing up I always played school and house and I was bad so I could get spanked. I fantized about "little House on the Prairie". A loving Pa lovingly but firmly spanks a bad little Laura. Maybe somewhere I started associating spanking with love. Mom never spanked me hardly. As a teen it might have been good for me if she had when I started not going to school. She could ground me I never went anywhere. Maybe she really didn't believe in spanking. Or maybe she was afraid she'd hurt me because I was disabiled, Or maybe she didn't care (lots of factors here she killed herself when I was 20.) I never learned discipline. So at 33 I like to be spanked and still have now discipline.
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