Saturday, July 31, 2004

Mood:Pretty good ;-)
Health: neck troubles
Weather: getting hot again
Diet: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........welllllllllllllll...............
Acohol:none trying to get pregnant
Watching:big brother soon to be watching general hospital
Listening To:
Interest of the Day: chatting with the guys most can't get much else done
Recent Important Entries: my last post

Do you have words you crave you Signaficnt other to say? Or small things you wish they'd do? Do you tell them or just hope the do it themselves someday?
I guess i'll tell mine here.
I want to be told "look at me"(when in trouble), "do you understand me?"(when given an order or threatened "Now!", "spread your legs"(during sex and spanking)"you need your ass beat"
I also want to be touched on the check with a guys thumb with the rest of the hand holding my face. I also want to feel a paddle placed long ways between my butt cheecks and rubbed up and down. What are yours? Would you or have you told your SO about them?


Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
CategoryYour Score Average
When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself
It takes a couple of drinks
Sex Drive 65.8%
A fool for love, but not always
Knows the other body type like a map
Gayness 96.4%
Repressed, are we?
Fucking Sick77%
Refreshingly normal
You are 59.34% pure
Average Score: 72.7%

Friday, July 30, 2004

Mood:Happy about somethings(see below) but still fill guilty about not working, and still not having the house unbacked. 
Health: normal
Weather: rain rain rain about 12 inches in 2 days. Cool for July in Texas. We got only one day over 100 degrees
Diet: so so back on it except for finshing off some chips......ok there finshed ok maybe now i can try harder,
Acohol: non since sunday non for a while in the furture see below.
Watching: Starting Over
Listening To: samething i'm watching lol
Interest of the Day:, spankingmoviestv, yahoogroupMovies, Starting Over, Starting Over, NewsGroups, BDSM Newsgroups, BDSM Blogs, Short Interenet Films, PhotoShop
Recent Important Entries:
 Monday, July 12, 2004 SATURDAY'S SEX BDSM NIGHT
 Wednesday, July 07, 2004 JULY 4TH WEEKEND WAS GREAT
 Saturday, July 17, 2004 BLOGGING

Hubby had a great trip. They caught lots of fish, drank a lot, went to a beach party, did lots of girl watching, even smoked some pot with his friends. So what did I do well I'll answer the same way I told you what I might do so if you didn't like that you may skip to the next header where I tell about who came over Saturday night.
 DID I pig Out? Hell Yes!   Did I sleep alot? Hell yes! But not to good Sunday night. Did I masterbate? Hell yes!  Did I spank Myself?Hell yes!  Did I drink beer? Hell Yeah! Did I take sleeping pills? Hell Yes! Did I smoke some pot? Yes, Thank god I put a blanket on the couch or I would have burned a hole in the couch instead of the blanet LOL I didn't get very high or drunk DidI get my mail caught up? LOL Hell No I've got 1436 now. Did I watch Movies? Yep! yes 7 that weekend10 in the last week. Did I watch the spanking movies I mention below? I don't think I did then but I have some since then. Did I watch so short indepentant film like I've talk about before? No. Did I watch prono and real Spanking Clips? Nope. Did I watch Starting Over? Yes. Did I watch All My Children? yes Didl I listen to music? Hell yes about 50 song i think.Did I take a nice long hot bath with my favorite oil. Yes!skin so soft by avon and johnson's baby oil. I was so oily. Did I try the new online game SocialtronI told you about before? Yes it was ok but i didn't talk to anyone. My character is a hooker and can pose in many sex positions. I didn't play much but a one year subscription is 3 dollars. So I have plenty of time. DID I play RollerCoaster tycoon. No! Did I do photoshop? No. Did I clean? Hell NO! ok minimal stuff. Dishes cat box ect. Did I play Neopets? Yes  just the daily and hourly stuff (spin the gift wheels, buried treasure and scratch off lotto tickets ect)that I do 3 times a day but only takes a few minutes. Did I read any spanking/sex stories? no. Did I see anyone? Yes the kids next door brought over some Watermelon and then there was the mystery guest(see Below). Did I watch the many movies trailers I have booked marked to watch? no not many at least. Did I play the Sims? No.Did I keep up with reading my blogs? Yep I pretty much kept up and added some new links to mine.Did I talk to anyone on the phone? Yes hubby and the mystey guest below. Did I talk to anyone though IM? yes  but mostly peple from I write again? yes. Did I miss hubby? Yep like I said I got pretty lonely Sunday night.
  So there you have it.
Yep, most of you guessed right it was Smackavillie. He raped me again with concent of course. He called and he wanted to come over. I waviered then said ok. He took me to the store first. Then we played. This time the rape was more harsh. We didn't have to worry about waking up hubby. He pulled my hair alot well you know controled me by it. My head hurt later. Lucky he knows the different in stop(i'm playing) and STOP!(i'm serious) There were several times I had to stop him because of pain or just not liking what he did. We stopped once so he could give me an enema. Only my second one. Once he told me to say"my pussy is all mine" Well I knew what he meant I said "my pussy is all yours" But he didn't respond and told me again. Well what could I do? I said " My pussy is all MINE" he just cracked up and we had stop. He said "you got me there, you said what I told you." I liked when he made me move up on the bed by push hard in my pussy. He was moving me on purpose. We did have regular sex with the extender toy and a condom. Lots of beating and biting me. He finally gave me my birtday spanking. We ate and I kick him out so I could be alone the rest of the time. And yes I told hubby everything. I had ask him if it was ok just in case I changed my mind.
Like I've said before Hubby and I have been trying to find a bi dom here in town. Over the last few month we found some maybes but i really were doubtful. Then a few weeks ago I sent alot of guys on invitions to join my network. Since then I've chatted with 3 very good canidates. They are all ture doms I believe and bi. 2 actully live fort worth. I really feel good about them. Hopefully at least one will work out. As for the guy that we had met along time ago that wants to meet again. I'm doubting how bi he really is cause he said" I don't mind" giving oral to a guy " as long as I get something in return" DON"T MIND??????? We want someone who enjoys and loves it. The guys seem to.
Today hubby and I offically started to having a baby again. Things are calm again from summer vacations and holidays. So no more beer and pot for me.  Know if only I can get my lazy ass in gear and finsh unpacking after 3 damn years. Sigh

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Sorry I haven't written about Saturday but I'm behind on blogs and was with out a keyboard yesterday. I wrote this in response to someones blog and thought I'd share it here.

It's about Love...
I find that I don't know if I love myself. I can only love Hubby as much as I understand what love is. My mom told me she loved me as a kid but mostly after I said it first. Right before she killed herself she refused to say it. Love is so complicated and hard to understand. Sometimes I think it's just a word. They say others can't love you unless you love yourself. I hope that's not true.

Another quiz

You Are Right Brained In Love

Bit of a drama queen

Peacemaker, first to end a fight

Good at thinking up creative dates

Tend to fall in love and get hurt easily

Going with your gut instead of your head

Emphathetic and caring, sometimes to a fault

Good at recognizing patterns in relationships

Been in love many times, perhaps too many to count

Wildly passionate and intense when falling in love

Spontaneous with relationships, going with the flow

Overly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mind

Roses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart

Are You Right Brained or Left Brained in Love? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Bet you can't guess who ended up coming over yesterday or what we did????????? Go a head guess. If i get enough people wanting to here about it I'll write about it tuesday.

Poly blogs????????
I'm looking for some good poly blogs. Anyone have any suggestions?

Friday, July 23, 2004

Mood:good time for alone time
Weather:cool for july in texas
Diet:don't ask( but it's vacation time for me even though I'm not going anywhere. Hubby is going on a trip for fun. I'm having a good time here
Acohol: Can't wait for some tomorrow, and Saturday night and Sunday night LOL
Watching: VH-1 Country Video
Listening To:Skydiving Tim mcgraw
Interest of the Day:, spankingmoviestv yahoogroupMovies, Starting Over, Starting Over, NewsGroups, BDSM Newsgroups, BDSM Blogs, Short Interenet Films, PhotoShop
Recent Important Entries:
Monday, July 12, 2004 SATURDAY'S SEX BDSM NIGHT
Wednesday, July 07, 2004 JULY 4TH WEEKEND WAS GREAT
Saturday, July 17, 2004 BLOGGING


there dosen't seem to be anyone around. I know I changed one word of Tiffany's song. LOL But I'm alone now. Hubby went off on his fishing trip about 7AM and wil be gone until Monday about 2pm . It's nice to be be alone where I only have to worry about me(and the pets ofcourse). What wil I do? Hmm so many options. Will I pig Out? Hell Yes! Will I sleep alot? Hell yes! Will I masterbate? Hell yes! (Already did) Will I spank Myself?Hell yes! (Already did) Will I drink beer? Hell Yeah! Will I take sleeping pills? Hell Yes! I ready Did) Will I smoke some pot? Problably hadn't done it in a long time.WeWill I get my mail caught up? Not likely. I might try but I still have over 1000 pieces of mail and I don't want to spend the whole time reading mail. Will I watch Movies? Yep! My goal is 6. Will I watch the spanking movies I mention below? Maybe. Will I watch so short indepentant film like I've talk about before? Maybe. Will I watch prono and real Spanking Clips? Maybe. Will I watch Starting Over? Yes I have 1 episode to watch. Will I watch All My Children? If I remember I have 3 to watch on sundays mara-ton. Will I listen to music? Hell yes I'm doing it now. Will I take a nice long hot bath with my favorite oil. Yes!. Will I try the new online game SocialtronI told you about before? Most likely. Will I play RollerCoaster tycoon. I'd like to but doubt I'll have time. Will I do photoshop? I'd like to but doubt I'll have time. Will I clean? Hell NO! ok minimal stuff. Dishes cat box ect. Will I play Neopets? Yes but problably just the daily and hourly stuff (spin the gift wheels, buried treasure and scratch off lotto tickets ect)that I do 3 times a day but only takes a few minutes. Will I read any spanking/sex stories? I doubt i will.Will I see anyone? I hope not. I hope no one stops by. I doubt they will. Will I watch the many movies trailers I have booked marked to watch? Maybe. Will I play the Sims? No.Will I keep up with reading my blogs? problably but not sure.Will I talk to anyone on the phone? Yes hubby not sure if anyone else will call. Will I talk to anyone though IM yes already have but mostly peple from In away I don't want to talk to anyone but in away I do. I doubt I turn it off but I'll mostly keep it on busy.Will I write again? doubtful but yo never know. Will I miss hubby? Yeah I'm sure I'll be missing him by Sunday evening.Well I'm off to have fun.
Three spanking bdsm things going on here now even though I haven't gotten any thing for real :(
1. A guy we met for a threesome years a go has contacted me. He wants to get together again. We had some fun when we saw him last but he had a lot going on in his life then and it ended a one night stand. Hopefully things are better for him now. We are problably going to have him over.
2 . I've been a member of for a long time but always waited for people to contact me for threesomes but never persused others. Well I started looking around the site the other day and found out how to invite people to your net work. I've learned how to easyly earn points so I can look at people profile. So I've invite alot of local people seeking couple to join my network in hpe the will read about me and contact me if they are interested. I've been there a lot lately. One guy is really interested and has sent in my form. He mets my requirements. But we haven't chatted yet, I've gotten about 8 IMs from guys from the site.
3. If anyone is interested in seeing spanking on TV on shows and movies spankingmoviestv yahoo group is for you. Three great things there. First, Once a month a cool woman post a list of every tv show and movie on tv and cable that has a spanking on it for the whole month. All you have to do is look them up on yahoo! Tv and click add to put them on a yahoo calender. Secondly, in the files of the group and the sister groups have clips of many movie and tv spankings. NO PORN TYPE STUFF. And lastly of course the chat about tv and movie spankings.
It's a cool newgroup.

Monday, July 19, 2004

Mood: Feeling neglicted please read my last post on blogging
Health:my goin was killing me yesterday but i'm good today
Diet:Had Some of my friends b-day cake well ok it was half a small cake lol
Alcohol: 6 beers last night I had goin pain it helped tonight onemelon splash cooler
Watching: the 4400
Listening To:the tv
of the Day: Movies, Starting Over, Starting Over
NewsGroups, BDSM Newsgroups, BDSM Blogs, Short
Interenet Films, PhotoShop
Recent Important Entries:

Monday, July 12, 2004 SATURDAY'S SEX BDSM NIGHT
Wednesday, July 07, 2004 JULY 4TH WEEKEND WAS GREAT
Saturday, July 17, 2004 BLOGGING

I'm still kinda bummed I haven't gotten any comments on my important post lately. PLEASE READ MY LAST POST ON BLOGGING.

Caught up on my favorite blogs.
I've finally got up on my main favorite blogs. That's the first 16 including Theboss, Invidia, Spankboss, Aiyana,
darque`angel, Confused, Randomness, peculiar_mutterings, la fesse are all finally caught up and now i can comment again. I rearranged the order of some blogs. I hope to get to read more and add more as soon as I finally get my 1000 pieces of mail caught up. Maybe I can get that caught up by friday when hubby leaves or at least monday when he returns then I'll be caught up on everything.

We had fun at our friends house this weekend. I thought we were just going over there and stay there until we leave the next morning. I took no jewlry or make-up. They had other plans. When we got there they wanted to walk to get dinner(like us they have no car. She's in an electric wheelchair and he is not disablied). It was a 30 minute walk each way. Man, That's quite a walk for me being disabilied. But I manage with quite a bit of pain. It was a resturant I wanted to try so I was ok with it. However, I wasn't too impressed with the resturant. I didn't care for the bread or appitizers. The pizza and pasdta was both pretty good. The service was poor. But it was pretty inexpenisive. Oh and it's byob(bring your own bottle). What? They serve no alcohol?? What kinda place is that? Anyway we got back to there apt. and had a few beers and played the
Newlywed game. We lost. We used to bet almost all couples but the last few times we played we lost. Who would think a couple that met less than2 years ago that married last valentines day would beat a couple together 13years married 11. I guess the longer your together the more possible answers(At least that's my excusr LOL) Anyway the next day the wanted to walk to get a breakfeast buffet. Well you say those to words to me and i'm out the door walking or not. It was a 15 to 20 minute walk each way. Most of the food was good for breakfest. We saw Smackavillie and his girlfriend there(yes he has a girl friend but what we do is on his conscious not mine. She actully married getting a divorce. It's complicated. She of course don't know what really goes on here and wouldn't subspect since we are a married couple. We have always known about her. It was actully nice to finally meet her.) By the end of the walk home I was in major pain. My goin was killing me all day. After some medicine, beer, and a good night sleep it's better. I'm sad to see my friends go though. They are moving to cincintti, OHIO. We will miss them.

I love personality test. I found this one extremly accurate. I found it in
darque`angel blog .
Freudian Inventory Results
Genital (23%) you appear to have a pessimistic and regressive outlook on life.
Latency (46%) you appear to have a good balance of knowledge seeking and practicality.
Phallic (56%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure.
Anal (43%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity.
Oral (70%) you appear to be overly passive and dependent, wanting things to be given to you instead of working for them.
Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by

Also stolen from
darque`angel are these questions with my answers.
48 Questions For D`Anerah[IW]

1. Your first name as it appears on your birth certificate: ButterCream

2. Nicknames: Jozie

3. Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake: 34

4. Date that you regularly blow them out: June 24th

5. Pets: Chihuahua Tia 5 lbs deer chihuahua, Callie patches Calico Cat, Cyber Link Cat that looks siamese but isn't. Both cats are quite a bit bigger than the dog.

6. Height/Weight: 5'1 or 5'2 200lbs

7. Eye colour: brown

8. Hair colour: red now but ususally brown

9. Piercings: Ears

10. Tattoos:No, but I want one

11. Favourite colour: bright yellow and royal blue. Midnight colors

12. How much do you love your job or what you do?I have no real paying job but am hubby's caretaker(not in a bdsm sense either but he needs me to help him since he is in a wheelchair.)

13. Birthplace: Fort Worth Texas

14. Hometown: Fort Worth Texas

15. Current residence: Fort Worth Texas

16. Been in love? yes, with Hubby

17. Loved somebody so much it made you cry? yes

18. Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper? fold Single-ply should be outlawed it always scrunches

19. What colour is your bedroom carpet? denim blue

20. Been in a car crash/minor wreck? yes, one that chanced my life for the worse then better, but no one was hurt

21. Type of vehicle you drive:I can't drive

22. Favourite number: 11

23. Quote or line from a song: Spank my booty real good

24. Favourite holiday: Christmas

25. Favourite fast food place/restaurant: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Bamboo Garden, Perotti's pizza, Zeke's. and Don Pablo's

26. Favourite foods: Italian, mexican, seafood

27. Favourite salad dressing:I'm not one for condiments but I do like ranch ok.
28. Croutons or bacon pieces? Bacon pieces

29. Favourite ice cream:Twice baked, Everything But The....

30. Favourite chocolate: plain M&M's, milkyway

31. Favourite drink: Diet Dr. Pepper

32. Favourite beer: bud-wise-er

33. Toothpaste: aquafresh

34. Favourite day of the week: Thursday and Saturday

35. Favourite song at the moment: Picture kid rock and sherly crow

36. Favourite TV shows: Starting Over

37. Favourite movie: Lonesome dove

38. Least favourite thing: Getting out of bed, diets

39. Best thing: hubby, dog, spanking, sex, food, internet,

40. Sport you like to watch:Gymnastics, Ice Skating, Equestine, diving

41. When was your last hospital visit? long time ago

42. What do you often do when you are bored? Are you kidding?I never get borec if I have my computer, internet, tv, and/or vccr

43. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? right herw

44. Which single store would you choose to Max your credit card? electronic boutique, books stores

45. What words or phrases do you overuse? oh man, whatever

46. Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest away: aiyana and darque`angel

47. Most annoying thing people ask you: Are you ever going to get the house organized

48. What is your normal bedtime? between 2 and 4 am

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Mood: neutral
Health:Stomach cramps lately
Diet:Not to good today. m&m and pint of low carb ice cream was 2 things to much.
Alcohol: none
Watching: Fixing to watch Starting Over
Listening To:Conan On TV
of the Day: Movies, Starting Over, Starting Over
NewsGroups, BDSM Newsgroups, BDSM Blogs, Short
Interenet Films, PhotoShop
Recent Important Entries:

Monday, July 12, 2004 SATURDAY'S SEX BDSM NIGHT
Wednesday, July 07, 2004 JULY 4TH WEEKEND WAS GREAT
Saturday, July 17, 2004 BLOGGING


know blogging should be done for youself, but I really think alot of us
do it to share our lives with others. It hurts when you type a big long
story you think others would be interested in or is important to you
then get no response. I know from reading others blogs that I'm not the
only one. I realize peope can't read everyday. There maybe even several
weeks you can't find time to read. So what do you do when you finally
get back on? Do you read the last entry and go on or do you go back to
where you left off and catch up? I think if you read a persons blog you
are interested in there life and would want to know everything that's
gone on while your away. But I feel others may only read the last
entry. I put 2 imortant entries


Wednesday, July 07, 2004 JULY 4TH WEEKEND WAS GREAT
about exciting times that each took 2 hours to write then a
couple of unimportant one . Most people only commented on the
unimportant ones. Which made me wonder if they even read the important
ones. Do they only read the newest ones or frist section of an entry(
see how todays blog has 3 sections)? Do they only read the short ones?
OR do they not care about the big important days. That's  why I wait a few days after an important blog to write again, so that everyone will get a chance to see it. To me days I go out
to fun thing ( which you know I rarely go out except the store) and
time where I talk about SPANKING, AND SEX
isn't often) are important to me. I hope for lots of feed back on these
but are often disappointed when I don't here from my friends. I always
catch up on all the people blogs that read mine. The first 16
(randomness and above)blogs only my spank sex list on this page I try
to stay caught up on. Granted the last 3 I still haven't caught up on
sunce june 16 th. But I'm working on it. I'm also way behind on e-mail
I delete a bunch but still have 1037 since June 25th. But things are
calm here now and I'm making progress. I know most of you don't have as
much time as I do for free time. That's one reason I put Recent
important entries on the top of each blog. I'll try not to leave them
up for ever just long enough that I convinved everyone got a
chance to read them.
I also
hope you like the rest og the stuff I put on the top. It will give you
a quick view of my state of mind while writing it. Also BLOGGER has
made some changes as you can see. Bigger type, color type, gumnx change font, ect. Should be cool.
all know I've been interested in movies lately. Well, now I have a new
interested( like I need more, like I don't have to many now, like I
have time. Oh well.) I'm into watch short free indepentant film you can
watch online. Most are dumb but there are so gems. Here are the two
best sites I've found and Enjoy.
night Hubby and I are going to spend the night with some friends of
ours. They just got married valentines day and now they are moving out
of state. It maybe the last time we see them. It will be fun we're
taking beer and some couple games( like the nmewlywed game). We are
going to order out.

Next Friday July 23 about 8 AM until Monday July 26th about 2PM Hubby
will be away on his Fishing trip(remember they got the boat free
because the captain didn't go where the fishing was good because he was
to worried about big waves.) And I'll be ALONE,ALONE,ALONE . YES
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love Hubby but unlike most couples we are
together 24/7. So I really love being alone sometimes. Not have a
soul to worry about(except the 3 animals of course.) Do what I want
without a schedule. I
thought about having Smackavillie over but I really want to spend the
whole time alone this time. I got lots of good special food to eat.
Fuck the Diet. Hubby's have fun so will I. Hubby said I could try a
online game where you can get rape, pregant or sexual desease. Weird
HUH. But As I said recently I do have a rape fantasy. The game is only
3 bucks. The info is on the side colum of the blog under online games.
Anyway it will be nice.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Ok since my friends D`Anerah and aiyana have done it I'll jump on the band wagan too.

What is your name? ButterCreamKinkyKisses
What would you rather be called?Jozie
Have you ever cheated on anyone? Sadly, yes.
What attracts you the most to the opposite sex? Eyes and smile
What colour is your hair? Red - now but normally brown
Do you wear panties or jocks? panties white cotton granny style i live for confort
What is your favourite food? pizza with garlic butter, chicken, pepperonni, itian sauage, breakfast bacon and tons of chedder
What flavour ice cream do you like the most? ben and jerry's twice baked or everything but the..
What is under your bed?my plug in vibratiors, dust, cat hair.

What is your favourite colour? royal blue and bright yellow together
What music do you like? Contry, 70's, 80's, pop
Do you prefer on top or the bottom? bottom always i like to be controled.
Do you like soft or hard kisses? I'm weird i'm not much of a kisser. I never thought about it. I guess both can be good but I ususally like things hard.
Have you ever lied? Yes but I rarely do except white lies like I like your shirt when i don't
Have you ever had sex in public? Once at the japanese gardens but only gave him oral.
Have you ever watched anyone have sex? only porn and hubby and another guy
Did you like it? indifferent.
Do you keep secrets well? no
What is the hardest secret you have had to hold? not telling hubbies family about our lifestyle.
Do you like kinky sex? duh
Do you believe in god? Yes, he is my savior.
Why did you do this quiz? I like people to know about me.

Monday, July 12, 2004


Yes hubby and I played Dom/sub all day Saturday. Smackavillie did come over and we all had a good time no fights this time.
Playing DOM/sub was good we had a talk about how hard it is for me to give up control. How I have to say I want to do this but I want it this and this way. I place to much terms and conditions. Then I want to argue over things. See I told you I'd never be a good sub. I guess I'll always be a want to be. I got in trouble a lot for talking back Most of the things were silly to me but it did make me think more before I speak. I wish I'd do that more when we weren't playing.
We also talk about his first love. I don't mind talking about her because she committed suicide in he teens when he was away at college. You see I fault a lot of people who commit suicide but not her. She was disabled too, more than me but nit as much as him. I believe the reason she killed her self is because she was being sexually abused by a relative. She could stand on a chair normally but did to find an uncockable lost gun. She shouldn't have been able to do it but she did. I blame here at all in her position and I hope the molester feels guilt about it every day. Hubby and I both have suicide of a close loved one in common since my mom did too. Anyway a song came on that reminds him of her. We are nothing a like. She was thin and blonde. I'm fat and brunette. She was a nymthomanic I'm not. She was more touchy feely them me. I wish I was more but I was more but I wasn't brought up that way. He was telling me that she used to sing into his eyes and I never do. I know he loves me the way I am, And I rarely get jealous of her but talk about it after the DOM/sub talk and getting in trouble for talking back made me emotional and I started crying.
At the grocery store I was going to get some M&M's but Hubby called me. Normally I would have gone on to get the candy then gone to him but trying to be a good sub I went them. As A result I forgot to by my candy which ticked me off it was for eating the weekend he's gone. It was part of my fun when he's away. Oh well maybe we'll have a reason to go to the store before he leaves. I did get a new clear plastic cutting board though.
We played DOM/sub all afternoon but didn't have time for any activity until right before Smackavillie came over. Except for him standing me in the corner 1 minute for talking back when we were getting ready to go to the store.
He hot my breast with a flogger awhile just before Smackavillie showed up. Smack showed up late. We kept the TV off all day and just listened to music and visited. It was nice. I got spanked several times that night with my new cutting board and smacks hand. I played with Smack some and asked him to play with me. He did. It might be the first time he did in the living room in front of hubby. I don't think I came then though. Smack went in the bedroom to help me "make the bed" LOL. We do make the bed but usually do more to. LOL He used the vibrator on me a little bit and suddenly stop and said that enough for now. We went back in the living room with hubby. I got in trouble for some stupid stuff (like having dirty feet geez I took a shower just before we went to the store)and had to stand in the corner. The alarm for the beer went off so they let me out. Later when we ate for some reason I though a chip at each of them Smack spanked me and put me in the corner in the corner is a good real punishment for me since I like spanking. He made me eat the chips after they fell on the floor.
I told Smack about my fantasy about being popped with a towel. He got a dish towel and did it but it wasn't like I fantasized but then again what ever is. I want the corner to it one little spot but the whole towel hit. But It did hurt though. LOL.
Later in bed I gave hubby a blowjob while Smack played with me. This is normal. Then Smack and I went and lied on a blanket on the living room floor alone. This too is normal. I had talked to Smack before about my rape fantasy. I looked at him and asked what he'd do if I said I didn't want too. He said "we wouldn't do anything" He didn't get it. I tilted my head and smiled evilly said "oh" I thought he got it. When he started getting on top of me I said "no" He looked at me and Said "what" I had to give him the look again but he got it. Yes he "raped" me. I didn't fight as hard as I could have or should have. Maybe next time. I know if I had said "safeword" he would have stopped. I did have to stop him once cuz he was in the wrong hole again.(because I'm trying to get pregnant by hubby not him.) I didn't say safeword but I said his name and a tone where he knew I wasn't playing. I was on my back he held my hands down and raped my ass. My feet ended up on his chest a very hard position. I was about to say my feet but I guess "rapeing" me turned him on he came sooner than usual. I don't know what happen next but we laughed. I asked him to spank me some more and he did. But it was 4:15 AM. and Smack had a busy day the next day so I went off to bed. Smack always sleeps on the couch because even king size sleep number select comfort beds are made for two only. (We don't like the bed and plan to sell it when we pay it off. BTW I'm a 35 and hubby is a 45.) I woke up 4 hours later and Smack was gone which is normal too. Later hubby asked if I had a good time and I said yes and he even "raped" me. Hubby was happy for me. LOL
So that's it. That's how a sub day goes for me. I still didn't get enough spanking but I never do because I want to be sore and bruised the next day. I usually have enough sex but not always. I don't think I had enough. I guess I'll always be a want to be sub but I guess it as long as I have an open-minded hubby and third party to play with me some it's good.

Saturday, July 10, 2004


Wednesday, July 07, 2004


Things have finally settled down from hubbies vacation week and going to my sis-in-laws for fourth of july weekend.I'm so far behind. I haven't read anyone blogs since June 16th. I've got about 2050 pieces of mail I'm on June 26th. It's all yahoogroup mail. I go though it daily for personal mail. I'm in tons of groups, too many. I'll problably delete some or most of it when I get all my Starting Over Shows caught up. Hubby and I are about caught out on our shows( just over a day behind. I've got yesterday's and today's All my Children and Starting over until my shows are caught up but due to tennis I missed all last week of Starting Over but some one is mailing me tapes to see them all. When I get those watch I may delete some mail but I've bbeen reading as much as I can. Life gets back to nornal I don't have anything big to do for a long time. Saturday we may have Smackavillie over. I need to call and ask him tonight or tomorrow. Hubby is going fishing July 23 to 26th so I'll have to get him ready Then I'll have the time alone. I'm not planning on have smackavillie over this time. Besides that I have pretty much no plans for july and august Except my Mother-in-laws birthday is Aug. 13th. Oh yeah I started back on my diet today. Boo!!!!!!!! I weight about 207. I had gotten down from about 208 to 200 but then gain back the last few weeks of enjoying my holiday. But at least I didn't add the seven pounds to the 208 making it 215 right. I won't have any excuses except the above to cheat. We pig out when Smack is here and I will pig out and enjoy myself when hubby can have fun on his trip.


I'm including all of july so far as the weekend .
Thursday Hubby and I watched a movie Personal Velocity. It was a look into 3 women's lives. It was pretty good except there was no connection in the lives and no real point. I gave it a 4 out of 10.
Then hubby finally gave me my birthday SPANKING. I told him to tell me to count them. See that's about how the dom thing works around here. At one point though iI said owww. He said I didn't say to say owww. So now we have to start. He gave me 34 swats with the paddle with me counting and trying not to say owww.I hate it when they do that.LOL. (Hubby has done it once before and Smackavillie did it once.) LOL after that he gave me many more for fun. I don't know how many though.
Friday hubby went to get so X-rays and get the handicap placards he couldn't get a week ago. I ggot everything packed and ready to go. We watched a movie called Hart's war with Bruce Willis. I started thinking it was all going to be battle scence but was happy to find out it was only in the beginning. Most of the movie takes place in a prison camp. I really liked it. I gave it a 7 out of 10.
My Sis-iin-law and niece(13) picked us up. We went to get some greocies fot Saturday. I got some new blush and eye shadow as well as some of my favorite chips ritz sour cream ans onion chips. We rented a movie Mystic River( I didn't like it. Gave it a 3 out of 10). And went buy Kentucky fried chicken. I ate 4 thighs, macroni, and a biscut.
Saturday July 3rd was our big day. We celebrate July 4th on July 3rd. We went to the Bedford Boys Ranch. They have a small water park, some rides, a kids park, food, a place for a concert. We had a blast. First we went to the water park. They had a lift so hubby got to swim. He's only been swimming 2 times since I met him in 1991 and the other time was in 1991. He loved it. He has to wear an intertube around him. There was 2 kinda big slide. One I went down 3 times the other only once. The last one the bottom was shaped like a bowl and you swirl around the bottom. I didn't like it because I came off head first and water pours out on top of you and I couldn't breath. We ate lunch.I had a sandwhich, chips and a snickers ice cream bar. For breakfast that morning I had 2 sauage in biscuts. After we ate we went to the rides. My niece and I played some carnaval games. I though darts at balloons and actully hit them I was shocked. I won a tiny bear in a wizard suit. I also played another game enough to get a doctor Suess hat/ I've always wanted one. Them my niece and I rode the tiny bummper cars and the ride that makes you stick to the side and the floor drops out. SIL and I rode the kamakazee. The one that goes upside down. I like upside down rides but I won't ride that again. You literly come out of your seat. I could have switched seats. Then we went back to the water park until it was time for the concert and fireworks. The water park also had a small lazy river. We went to find a place to sit for the concert an fireworks. We bought some food. Hubby and I shared a hambugar, funnel cake and ice cream cone. My niece and I went to a place where you could make your own july 4 th hats. The power went out and we couldn't use the glue guns for a long time. We made the hats mine looked stupid but oh well it was free. Finally the concert started. It was a band called AmbrosiaThey are popular but I don't know them. They were good. Then the fireworks were great. Fire works seem so much better than when I was young. They now have more colors in each one. They had so circle ones that fires off alot the the float around banging into each other. reminded me of a video game. They also had some shaped like hearts and stars which went off right when the sais stars and love in the songs playing.
Sunday SIL went and got donuts for breakfast. I had too. a sauage one and chocolate coved one. Then we went to see Spider-man 2. It was good but I don't think it was as good as the first one. I gave it a 8 out of 10. I had popcorn, a candy bar and a hot dog . We went out to eat after the movies. A mexican food place hubby and I wanted to try. It was terrible. Even hubby said the food was nasty and he rarely complains about food. I had a taco and two enchillas. Gross we won't be going there again.We were going to sit outside our house and watch the illegal fireworks(there was alot)but the mesquitos were too bad.
When we got home I went next door and got the neihbors dog. He had left friday and left the dog out side in the july heat alone all weekend.I got it Sunday and he pick up the dog last night.
Not much happened monday but yesterday I got my photoshop book I told you I ordered on june 23. It's cool. It's called photoshop for right-brainer: the art of photo manipilation. I looked at it and the cd ( it had a few free brushes, and styles as well as all the pics in the book so you can work though it.) I download some styles from a page the book recommended and did a little bit of other photoshop stuff. but never opened the actual program.
Last night BIG BROTHER AND AMAZING RACE started. In away that seems to make the beginning of the real summer TV season(which isn't much but gets better every year. ome day I don't think they will show reruns in the summer at all just special summer series.)
Today hubby told me his wheelchair is acting funny. That's all we need is for it to break down. We are broke and in debt from all the going. Hopefully we can get the credit card payed off before it dose break down.

Like I said before summer time is movie time for us. I'm going to keep track on all the movies we see starting June 1st to both sept 21 and when we have so many tapes of fall tv shows we now we won't have time for movies again until next summer. Which will happen in Sept. When both of those pass I'll total up the number and will post a list here of all the movies I was. Right now I'm up to 21 movies.

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