Thursday, August 12, 2004

Lately, it seems my sis-in-law and three friends have been going though alot as well as I. I've been very emotional about what they have been going though too. I've cryed for them. It's something I usually don't do. Next to their problems mine seem so trival. I mean why can't I just be greatful I have a wonderful loving man. And a friend(Smackavillie) that will play rough with me. And just be greatful hubby lets us play. Why must I seeek another. A dom type. Yes hubby wants someone to have fun with too but It's not as important to him. I'm sure he'd be happy if I never looked again. I think he says it's ok so he can keep me and keep me happy. I feel guilty for needing more. Some people have no one. Others are in abusive realationships. Why can't I just be happy with what I have? I guess I'm just selfish. I hurt tonight for me and my friends.

Mood: Still depressed
Health:back and neck p ain is better but still there. now I have a sore thoat and feel blah.
Weather: cool for August
Diet: fuck it. We had some fried king fish hubby caught on his trip. yummmy
Acohol:none trying to get pregnant. could use some now.
Watching: Little House on the Praire
Listening To:
Interest of the Day:not to interested in much
Recent Important Entries:i don't think anyone really cares

Still kinda depressed. I'm not sure certain things are going to work out. But I'm not sure. Silence is not always golden. I try to be patient but get tried of waiting for answers. I'm not sure our wants match. I try to explain but I'm just not sure it's wanted or understood. But at least I have hubby and smackavillie. But they just don't understand my needs or are unable to act upon them.

I want to give a few people personal messages here.
Mrs. S- When I wrote my last post I did think about you. I knew I had you as a friend too. I just choose to admit it because I was upset. You are a ture friend online and off. I'm so thankful that you love and except me for who I and know about the things this blog is about. I'm glad your open minded enough to read it. Hubby and I will sure miss you and your hubby when your gone.

Aiyana and D`Anerah. You two have been great friends. I know you both have been though alot. So I understand when you two can't comment. You're been there for me just as much as I've tried to be for you. Thanks for your friendship.

Nikki- thanks for your comments and support.
Invida-I'm sure your not reading this cuz you have such limited computer time down there and I understand you being around but I'm wondering How is Argentina?

Confused- thanks for your friendship. I've been missing you lately.

Ckin--I thought you were my "biggest fan" where are you know.

Hubby- I love you. Your the most important person in my life. And always will be next to any children we may have someday.

Smackavillie- been appreciating you more lately.

Sir-please IM me after you read this.

And eveyone else that keeps coming back to read this--- Thanks for coming back. I know you all have reasons for not commenting but feedback is always a great thing. But I am thankful anyway for you just reading.

I just want to close by saying one of the best sweetest thing in the world is a little tiny 5 lbs deer chihuahua curled up in my lap. I love you tiny little Tia. Tia Tia tortilla.

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