Tuesday, August 10, 2004

I'm sitting here with tears on my glasses tonight. I feel so lonely sometimes. I've got hubby but that's all I got. I'm so sick of one sided relationships, one side conversations and people who say they will do things with the best of intentions but don't.
Example 1: My mother in law. She say we never call her. We do from time to time but why the hell can't she call us. It takes to parties to make any relationship work(rather it parent/child, siblings, friends, spouses, boyfriend/girlfriend, or Dom/sub. Is there some rule somewhere that says the child must call the parent? My step father in law thinks so. We call he lots more often then she calls us.
Example 2: my uncle and aunt. Remember how up set I was at my birthday when they couldn't come cause it was fathers day. Well hell I'm family too but I have no father. I invited them all to come. They could of all came. They could have made their BBQ a little later. But NO. I see the twice a year Thanksgiving and X-mas. Then sometimes they come to hubby and my birthdays. So that's 4 times a yeat at most. I called my uncle and told him how I felt. And what did he say."you're right. this getting together twice a year ain't cutting it. We'll have a BBQ in the next 6 weeks". I wanted to do it in six weeks so they could see my red hair. And here it is 7 weeks later. I have not gotten a single phone call, e-mail or nothing. They never call me I have to call them so I seldom do. I have family in flordia they never call. I'm close to one uncle he calls but mostly to tell my about a game or computer thing he got or to get help on the pc. I could easily walk (or move) away from my family and the relationship wouldn't change.
Example 3: Hubby's friend working on the house. He had the best of intentions of doing tons of stuff. I was anxious for him to put intillation in the rooms so i could get them ready for if we have a baby. I told him that. he said"if you got pregnant we have 9 whole months" Now he's saying he ain't going to do much until after football season(he couchesI guess). So if I had gotten pregnant the night he said that by the time football season would be over i'd be about due or not had it.
I have no family. No friends of my own. All of our friends are really his friends except for 2. He gets to go fishing for a weekend or deer hunting while I sit at home. Even if I got a job(or other Social activity) it wouldn't gauntee I'd make ture friends. I have interenet friends but once again I IM them. They never IM me. I write in there blogs but rarely here from them on mine. I know a few of them have a lot of bad things going on. I just feel like I have no family and friends sometimes.I got jamie, his sister, his niece, Smackavillie and maybe Sir(if things continue to work out). And no one hardly comments here either so this feels so pointless. I feel lonely and hurt.

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