Sunday, October 17, 2004

HELLO NOTE(with a litle about bdsm)/LAST YEARS VACATION/MOVIES WATCHED THIS SUMMER
Mood: NOT GOOD
Health: HOW CARES
Weather: COOL
Diet: FUNNY
Acohol: Too much for the last 3 days but that's all gonna start trying to get pregnat again.
Watching: My Soaps AMC GH
Listening To:
Interest of the Day: not much too depressed
Recent Important Entries:
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HELLO NOTE(with a little about bdsm)
Sorry I haven't written in a month but i'd told you I'd be busy since Starting Over(my favorite reality show)started it's new season(which has been really good), Sims 2 came out(which is great), the Rollercoaster tycoon 3 demo came out(I wasn't impressed but hoping the actul game will be better i'm still getting it though since i pre-ordered. The game come out Nov 2.) and I went on "vacation" sorta(I'll tell u more about that in a few days but I want to let you read about last years vacation first read that below. Also below is the list of movies I watched June 8th -Oct.6th(i was going to stop on Sept 21 but I saw 5 good movies on vacation.)
But now I want to talk a little about bdsm and my lifestyle. I feel like no one understands(including the 3 men in my life) my need for pain, rough play and general attention. Why should they. Hell I don't understand it my self. I fantasize about it tell it drives me crazy then plans get canceled or things don't meet my expections i get crushed. I guess my expection are too high. Then I feel guilty about wanting or needing other guys except hubby. I also think I should stop being with them cuz It's hard trying to get pregnant with hubby's baby when i worry i could accidently get pregnant by them even though we use protectionand only have anal sex. Especilly Smackavillies. Hubby's familly is so prejudiced against blacks I can't imagine there responcse to that.Then Again maybe I shouldn't be trying to get pregant anyway cuz i fear i'd be a bad mom. What can i say i'm selfish and lazy. I don't feel like i'm a good wife or even a good person.
LAST YEARS VACATION
Here is what we did a year ago on vacation. I wrote this on my deviant art jounal.
Vacation highlights:Killer whale destroys camera
Journal Entry: Thu Oct 16, 2003, 8:06 PM
Back from vacation. It was good except rain, not much time at places, tar on our car and yes Shamu The Killer whale at seaworld destroyed our digital camera. It's working now but wasn't for most of the trip. Only got pics of enchanted rock and seaworld. NEVER SIT IN THE SPLASH ZONE AT SEAWORLD WITH A CAMERA. I got two disposal cameras for NASA and galvestionbut missed out of pics of san antiono. god knows when well get then devoloped, hopefuly I will get a cd of them.Friday started on the wrong foot when we decided to go to west to get kolaches before going to stephenville to see hubby's grandmother. It's an hour and a half from fort worth to stephensville ot took us about 4 1/2 hours this way. Dumb mistake.then we went to Enchanted Rock then stoped in fredrickburg for dinner then on to our hotel in San Antionio.Saturday we had a blast at seaworld until shamu that night. I rented me a wheelchair so I could save my feet for the rest of the trip. I dared to ride both roller coasters even with my bad back. Had no pain. Rode one in the rain. Never did that before. Only my sister and I rode. Hubby couldn't get on cuz he's in a wheelchair and my 12 year old niece is afraid of alot. Hubby, my sister-in-law, and I went on a great haunted trail. We all saw a great 4-d show.Sunday we drove by all 5 missions in San Antiono. Stoped by Concepcion and San Jose. We has all been to the Alamo. SAN Jose is the best in my opinion, but if u want to see the most run down Espada is cool. Then we went up in the Hemisfair Tower. Went to see an Alamo Imax movie. Road the River walk boat and ate a river on the riverwalk.Monday we left San Antiono for Houston to go to NASA Space Center. It was alittle dissappointing maybe cuz we only had 3 hours. Weny on the tram tour say An I max movie on being and astonout, and another movie. Was at the giftshop when my sister-in-law realised she didn't have her purse. We found it all was fine. Went to our hotel in Galvestion the Flagship. It was on the water. If you look straight down from our balcony you see the ocean. It was kinda trashy though and not to wheelchair accessable. Kinda sucked but a great veiw. We went out to eat and went to bed. Tuesday we Drove around Galvestion(got tar on our car) went to pier 21. Saw two intersting films on the great storm of 1900 and a boat Elissa. We went on Elissa too. Then we went to the beach and My niece and I played in the water. Can't believe I swam in OCT. It was fun. She got real sad and satarted missing ner dad who died about a year and a half a go. We all cried. Then went to dinner. Wednesday we went to Kemeh on the way home a great town on the board walk. We walked around and rode the train, ferris wheel and swing boat.It's a beautiful place to go have a few beers and watch the boats come in. We ate at the crab house Cuz my niece didn't get crab legs in galvestion but she did there a great way to end the trip. Anyway it was aloy of fun despite that stupid whale destroying my camera.Sorry for spelling typing, and grammer errors still pretty tired.Got home and a few people here greeted me by bitching at me about why I watch them. Why do the still have to be mean even after I explained everything honestly. What happen to the golden rule "do on to others as you'd have them do onto you. And If you can't say nothing nice don't say nothing at all. Why do people only want to hurt your feelings.
MOVIES WATCHED jUNE 8TH -oCT. 16 2004
Here are the list of movies I watch this summer June 8th -Oct.6th(i was going to stop on Sept 21 but I saw 5 good movies on vacation.) They are in order of favorite to least favorite. The first number is my rating the second is the average of all vote on IMdb.

Antwone Fisher (2002)
9
7.4


Bastard Out of Carolina (1996)
9
7.4


My Left Foot (1989)
9
7.5


Quills (2000)
9
7.3


Children of the Dust (1995) (TV)
8
6.7


Chocolat (2000)
8
7.3


G.I. Jane (1997)
8
5.5


Glory (1989)
8
8.1


Ladder 49 (2004)
8
6.8


Road to Perdition (2002)
8
7.8


Shrek 2 (2004)
8
7.7


Spider-Man 2 (2004)
8
7.9


Troy (2004)
8
7.0


13 Going On 30 (2004)
7
6.3


Bad Seed, The (1985) (TV)
7
5.6


Born on the Fourth of July (1989)
7
7.0


Gods and Generals (2003)
7
5.7


Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
7
7.7


Hart's War (2002)
7
6.3


Hope and Glory (1987)
7
7.4


Levity (2003)
7
6.3


Open Range (2003)
7
7.6


Radio (2003)
7
6.9


Scarlet Letter, The (1995)
7
4.4


Secondhand Lions (2003)
7
7.5


Stepford Wives, The (2004)
7
5.5


Thirteen (2003)
7
7.0


True Women (1997) (TV)
7
5.6


"10.5" (2004) (mini)
6
3.7


Breakin' All the Rules (2004)
6
4.3


Day After Tomorrow, The (2004)
6
6.2


Firm, The (1993)
6
6.6


Freaky Friday (2003)
6
7.0


Helen of Troy (2003) (TV)
6
6.3


Liam (2000)
6
6.9


Meltdown (2004) (TV)
6
4.2


Raising Helen (2004)
6
5.5


True Grit (1969)
6
7.3


Bet Your Life (2004) (TV)
5
4.7


Chain Reaction (1996)
5
5.1


Evelyn (2002)
5
7.1


Helter Skelter (2004) (TV)
5
5.7


Jesus' Son (1999)
5
6.9


My Life So Far (1999)
5
6.5


Radio Days (1987)
5
7.4


Raggedy Man (1981)
5
6.5


River's Edge (1986)
5
7.1


Assault at West Point: The Court-Martial of Johnson Whittaker (1994) (TV)
4
6.4


Bad Seed, The (1956)
4
7.3


Believer, The (2001)
4
7.3


Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne, The (1987)
4
7.1


Mystic River (2003)
4
8.1


Personal Velocity: Three Portraits (2002)
4
6.4


Around the World in 80 Days (2004)
3
5.6


Federal Protection (2002)
3
4.7

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