Thursday, June 23, 2005

Mood: depressed
Health: normal
Weather: hot hot hot
Diet: lol
Acohol: yes please
Watching: strong medicine
Listening To:
Interest of the Day: sins 2
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Yes tomorrow is my birthday I'll be 35. It will now be risky if I do get pregnant. I've never had a birthday where I've felt so depressed. Some of it's just PMS I'm sure.My frame of mind is just not good. This weekend we went to my sister in laws. My social phobia was bad. I felt so self conscience was so bad. We had a couple of other people around. There friends. I keep thinking people were thinking bad of me. I made a big deal out of everything in my head. Now I'm home and replaying things in my head. I get an uncomfortable feeling then say stupid stuff to my self like.."i wish everyone would leave me alone", "I wish this day was over","i hate my life" etc. I don't know why it's stupid and drives me crazy. My obsessive is driving me crazy too. I've been depressed about money trouble. But at least I get pizza tomorrow and my party Sunday. I got fames a few months ago, a new shirt, 2 new bras that actually fits and some sleep aroma therapy stuff from hubby. I want memory for my computer but we can't afford it. Hubbies fishing trip is looking problematic. Personal issues between guys. Olive Garden is given us grief over my party. The will only hold the table 15 minutes and will only seat us if half the party is there. Also the wanted us to add gratuity now. Hubby said no. Olive Garden has always been so accommodating before. Jeez With my luck it will be a nightmare. I invite almost 50 people but only 16 are coming. I don't think I'd be able to get though these 2 weeks and be on my diet too. I'm glad I'm on break.

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