Friday, February 24, 2006
I've been really stugggling with my Christitanty lately. I'm a fairly new christian. about 14 years but have not really studied or gone to church much in about 10 years. I was saved and baptised about 14 years. I did take a classes in christanity, judism and other religons inm college though. Late it seems a stuggle. I've mentioned before that I was once fired from a church nursey because of my disabity. That was not helpful in my growth spiritally. I've mentioned before that I kinda livr a semi-alternative lifestyle. I've alays struggled with the right and wrong of that. Everything I do is with my hubby though. I don't want to get in to details for fear of being Judged but I think I've said in the past.
Anyway a few weeks ago I ent to my sis-in-laws and she has gotten extrmly religious. But she is very prejudges agaist different races, religons and homosexuals. I think it is so wrong.
There is this "Christian" Virtual pet site I love called Creature World.. It's one of the best. I joined christmas before last and lost interest until an year later. I couldn't get on my accout. Even though I asked for my password. I created a new account and soon started not being able to log on there too. I discoverd I had to close my browser window to log on. I was now able to get on both accounts. I was on the second account only a few days. Two accounts are not allowed. I knew this and consonidated my accounts planning to not ever use one again. Well moving stuff from one account to another is not allowed either. Ok I really didn't read the rules but how many people read every detail of every site and contract the sign. Like the repare people contract, the pest control people, the cable repair from. I mean come on. I've been on these kinda site fore years I know the basic rules. I only started the second account cuz I couldn't get on the first. Anyway both accounts were froze. I wrote them and honestly explained what happen, said i was sorry and it wouldn't happen again. But they did not care. These are suppose to be christians. Doesn't God teachforgiveness? and second chances? They do not practice that. I mean let the one with out sin cast the first stone. Who hasn't made a mistake. Who hasn't broke a rule? I guess if u run a stop light u should be put to death right? No excuses! No second chance! Anyway I created a new account under a false name and yahoo address. I did nothing wrong on this account. NOTHING! After 3 months of playing and having a great time last night I logged on and was Froze because it was the same IP address.
It's not fair it's "Christians" like this this that makes me not sure I want to be a christian. SOME not ALL Christians can be the most judgemental, unforgiving, prejudgest, non-second chance giving, holier than thou, hypicrital, self rightous people.
I tak to my aunt and sister inlaw today and feel somewhat better. I've been wondering if homosexual go to heaven(no I'm not homosexual). My aunts brother is a homosexual . I got her veiw on it and talked to my sister in law about it. I read passages in the bible she gave me. I thik they can if they are saved and follow God other ways.
Anyway all this is making me weary of Christaity. I still love and believe in God. I'm just not sure u need a word like Christuanty, judism buddism, etc. To define the relationship between God and U. Sorry if this offends people and sorry if it's too strong. Just my thoughts and feelings of what I'm going though.