Wednesday, February 16, 2011

All about me

All about me
All about me by angelestes I'm back on Polyvore.com

There are several Intros from various places here that I wrote to different kinds of places
Hi, I'm Angelique Jozette Clark Estes. My nicknames are Angel and Jozie. I was born June 24th, 1970 at Petersmith Hospital. Born, raise and always Lived in Fort Worth Texas. My mom's name was Bonita "Toni" Gay Clark. My father who I never met but would like to is James Alton Wilson. I was born 2 months early because my mom smoked during pregnancy and jumped off a diving board (or cliff depends on What story u believe). It may have been to kill her us both not sure. As a result I was born disabled with cerebral palsy. I have some trouble walking and talking. I grew up living with my mom, grandparents, aunts, and Uncles. I went to a special school for the disabled called Easter Seals until I was 6. I was mainstreamed in top regular school at kindergarten. Then went to Greenbrair (76-82) and M.I. Logan Elementary (78-79), Rosemont Middle School (82-85), And R.L. Paschal High School (85-90). In 1989 I quit school and went back in 1990. I hated school and never went when I was young because everyone made fun of me. I sometimes missed 56 days a year. I was a good kid except that. I graduated high School in 1990 and got a job in a church nursery Arlington Heights United Methodist Church. In 1991 my life changed so much. I met My future hubby, my mom committed suicide(remember the diving board or cliff?), I moved out of the only home I ever knew, Moved in with my future Hubby, Lost my best friend(Amy Rossetter) to a heart attack and was baptized. Not long after I lost my church job along with another disabled girl because the Minster Tim Walker thought it was a "less than perfect Picture of a church nursery. Some christen. I had two long term babysitting jobs but have not worked since. Hubby and I were married in 1993. I haven't seen my oldest Friend Cherri May since. His name is James Austin Estes. I soon went to Tarrant County Junior College 1993-1997. I got my Computer in 1997 and here I am. I'm 5'1 and 243lbs. Brown hair and eyes. I have no personal friends now just a few couple friends and one other.


I walk pretty well but a speech impediment. I'm overweight. I'm married to a man with Cerebral Palsy too. He's in a wheelchair. I've never had a job because I fear working. My self-esteem is very low. I cry very easy and my speech gets worse. I'm very sensitive. I'm not close to my family and have no friends of my own. They are all hubbies’ friends. I like staying at home to help hubby when he needs it because he works at home. We are trying to have our first child. I have a mild social phobia. I'm also somewhat obsessive compulsive/ I'd like to see someone like me on Starting Over I'd apply but hubby would have no one to take care of him.




I've got about 4 versions of my story the net. I'll post them all soon but here one Well, of course, it started before I was born. Mom had a thing for married men. She slept with 2 of my aunt's husbands. My dad was married and had 3 girls, the youngest 10 months older than me. Mom dated one guy since I was born who was also married. Mom didn't tell anyone she was pregnant. On the day I was born, Mom jumped off a Cliff (possibly just a diving board I've heard conflicting stories). Some say she was trying to kill herself then. I think it's possible. She wanted a boy but she didn't get that. She said in her diary she didn't know what she would do if she gave birth to a disabled child. Well, she had to face that too. I was 3 months premature and had Cerebral Palsy. She wanted to give me up for adoption but my grandpa and aunt talked her out of it. We both always lived with grandma and grandpa. Growing up was not too bad. Mom NEVER drank, did drugs or abused me. But I was a timid kid and just yelling at me was all the punishment I needed. I was a good kid. Except for sometimes not doing my chores and not going to school (I once missed 56 days in a year. She wasn't there to make me go. She was at work. Grandma couldn't make me. She could hardly punish me but she tried. You can't ground someone that never goes anywhere. I had few friends. This went on in middle school and high school). Anyway I still think I was a good kid too afraid to mouth off. Mom hardly went anywhere. Occasionally early on but less and less as I grew older. She hardly took me anywhere but shopping (weekly), Six Flags and Wet n' Wild (yearly). I only went to a sit down to eat restaurant about 7 times before I met hubby. We did go out to eat but only fast food. One time I wanted to go to a class taught by the Blue Birds for babysitters who wanted to work with children with special needs. She wouldn't take me. I mean that could have been a career starter. I never had any extra after school activities like sports or band or anything except Girl Scouts. We were close in a way though. I talked and she listened but didn't offer much help with any of my problems. We had long philosophical talks about life though. If you asked my aunts and uncles they’d say she was a b*tch and that's mostly true. But she wasn't all bad. She spoiled me about as much as a poor mother with an only child could. I had pretty nice x-mas and stuff. I guess she was there for me in some ways. Anyway that gives you an idea of she and I when I was growing up.
Over the last few years of her life she went out less and less. Even missing family Easter and Christmas gatherings a few times. When I was a Senior in high school I was still missing too much school and I Knew that year I had screwed up too bad that I couldn't pass. I quit. I went back the next spring semester for myself and missed less and made good grades. Mom had NOTHING to do with this. Anyway this is when it all started. The year I went back Grandpa died in 1982 - long since gone. Grandma was not able to do much. I got my first (and only) job working in a church nursery. Mom refused to take me to work. My aunt had to pick me up. She worked there too. Two weeks before graduation it all started. She quit her job. She had the same job for 14 years. She never tried to get another. I told her now that she wasn't working she could take me to work. She did but Mom hated to drive so she always sat outside in the car reading while I worked rather then drive home. Mom drove me to my graduation baccalareat thingie and waited out side. I had to practically drag her to my graduation kicking and screaming. She didn't want to go. The next few months was uneventful for us but money was getting tight. In August we had a car accident. It was the beginning of the end. The car was damaged so it was not drivable. We weren't hurt. She went home and went to her room and stayed there. A month or so later we knew we had to something about her. My uncle offered to pay to get the car fixed if she would look for a job. She said no. We had no choce now. We put her in the hospital mental ward. It was a county hospital. She once called crying to say she was sorry (she never cried) but in that stupid place if you eat, make your bed, and do as you're told you are sane. She was home in 2 weeks but nothing really changed. I was doing everything myself - cooking, cleaning, and shopping for the 3 of us. Money was real tight.The next Jan. I met my furture hubby and I started dating. Feb 28. was a great day but awful night. The night before I got mad at my grandmother for turning off the heater in the bathroom when she knew I was taking a shower before work. I said loud enough for mom to hear "Ya'll don't appricate all I'm doing". Mom came running out of her room screaming "I've been looking for an excuse now I have one!" She ran out of the house. I went to work. My aunt called grandma and mom had come home. From work I went to my boyfriend's for the night because we were visiting a college out of town the next day. What fun we had that day but..... afterward I went to work and we had no kids that night in the nursery. Thank God. My boss came in and I knew something was up. She knew. Just then a driver of the transportation system I ride (who was a minister) came in and told me to call my boyfriend. I knew. Yes, she had killed herself. She used the pills from when she was in the hospital. She refused to take them. I told her to keep them in case she wanted to start taking them the way they were intended. Man, I didn't mean all at once. Big mistake. Anyway I did not want to deal with a funeral. She didn't want one anyway. She didn't want people to see her. I gave her what she wanted. God, I don't know why I gave her what she wanted she didn't deserve it. I never saw her body. No one did but grandma. God, how I hate that she did it when only grandma could find her. I wasn't surprised. I just went on with life. I went back to work the next Sunday. She os buried in a county cemetary with no grave marker. No closure though.
My grandma went to a nursing home in April. She died 7 years later. Hubby and I moved in together. That August my best female friend died. Hubby and I married 3 years after we met. He's disabled too and in a wheelchair. I walk pretty good but have a speech problem. I went to college. We got our own house a few years ago and are now trying to have a baby. I may try to find my father someday.


First, I'm not really an artist. I'm not good at taking pictures or creating art. I'm just trying to have fun here which is what the Internet should me. I know I'm not good so most of my stuff will be stock so anyone can play with it. I don't care just please tell me if you use it so I can see. If you want to use something that's not stock ask I'll probably let you. You can tell alot abot people by there favorites check out mine. I have lots of interest. If you want me to put you on my watch list send me a note and I will.
OK - about me. I turned 35 on June 24, 2005. Born, raised and always lived in Fort Worth, Texas. I've been married 12 years to hubby. We are both disabled (with Cerebral Palsy). I walk pretty well but have a slight speech impediment. He is in a wheelchair. He can eat, write and do most things himself except for walking and transfering. We are trying to have our first child. We do not drive but ride special busing. He works at home. I stay home to help him if he needs something plus I have jobaphobia. LOL. I have an Associate of Arts degree from a Tarrent County Junior College. We have 3 pets, A 5 lb. Deer Chihuahua , a calico, and another cat. I'm Obsessive Compulse. LOL. Can u tell?.
I'm into neopets, sims, sims2, rollercoaster tycoon 1, 2, and 3, zoo tycoon, photoshop, movies, tv shows, start over(tv show), self improvement.
If you want to know more send a note.


I love collecting all kinds of pictures including portraits, fantasy, unicorns, Pegasus, chess, checkers, clown, mimes, Alice in Wonderland, jesters, baby animals, faces, erotica, castles, lighthouses, neopets, cat like creatures, dog like creatures, horse like creatures, wizards, crosses, crucifixion, Goth, vampires, Anne Rice, harry potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, Star Wars, elves, eyes, rainbows, mazes, Lisa Frank, angels, ferrets, zebras, tattoos, wonderland, beds, Religious, devils, Dream imagery, Alien life forms, Fairies, Landscape, nature, Magic and Sorcery, spells, Mythical Creatures & assorted Monsters, Photo-/model based compositions, or photo realism, Romance, Emotion, Love, Centaurs, colorful picas, graffiti, hot air balloons, Indians, kites, medieval paintings, mosaics, masks, mermaids, renaissance art, snow scenes, soap operas, teddy bears, unicorns, Victorian art, volcanoes, witches, wizards, wolves and more





Favorite television show: Full House, Little house on the Prairie, General hospital, All My Children, Port Charles, American Dreams, ER, Third Watch, Smallville. AHHHHHHHH too many to list
Favorite Actor: John Stamos, Michael Landon
Favorite Actress: Finola Hughes Melissa Gilbert.
Favorite colors: Dark blue and Bright yellow together, Dark colors, rainbows
Favorite Clothes: Causal, Denim, Shorts, Sweats or nothing
Favorite hobby: Collecting Stickers (I have 13 photo Albums full and have been collecting since 1981.)Collecting pics
Favorite Foods: Pizza, Fried Chicken, Pasta, ice Cream, Butter Cream icing
Favorite Flowers: Yellow Rose, Orange tiger lily with black Spots.
Favorite number: 11
Idea for Deviant artist: I have this picture in my head of 4 clowns looking down at the camera or viewer. Surrounding it in a circle. I mean looking from four corners. I wish some could paint it or take it for me




If I were on some body's face i'd be a smile
a bird..lovebird
musical instrument...piano
astrological body....milkyway
rock....rocking chair or rock n'roll
a real rock....obsidian
team...cheering team
part of a car...the back seat
a flower.. yellow rose,or orange tiger lily
a smell... buttercream icing, vanilla or lavnander
a shoe..a tennis shoe
a light... light house
book ... a diary or photoshop book
part of a chinese dinner....fortune cookie
a piece of music.......a song that means a lot to many people
part of a mall....candy shop
a puzzle....a jigsaw puzzle or maze
a traffic signal...a green light
a piece of gym equiment...trampoline
an appliance...a microwave
a band...a country band or band-aid
in a deck of card...queen of hearts
on a hand...a ring
something to sleep on....a soft cushy cozy bed
a seafood dish...shrimp alferdo
a cirus worker...a clown or trapeze artist
a tool....a ruler or hammer
winter fun...sledding
a hat....a cowboy hat or denim cap
a cookie..........chocolate chip cookie
in a medicine cabnet....sleeping pills
a boat...a sail boat or speed boat
a laugh....a giggle
part of a day on the beach....the blue sky
a telephone response....a wrong number
a fruit...a coconut
part of a cat...eyes or purr
part of a dog..wagging tail
a flying object...a hot air balloon or bird
a fastener...velcro
a house...log cabin
a hairdo...a shag
an insect...ladybug or firefly
a candy...cotton candy or m&m's or milky way
an art supply.....paint
illness....a headache (stupid question)
worked at an airport..........pilot
part of a sentance....question mark
a TV show.....a soap opera or drama
an amusement park ride...a roller coaster
a clock.....digital clock on night stand
an egg...scrambled or, or faberge or confetti egg
a noise...a laugh, whisper or music
a spice....garlic or cinnamon
on a world map...a lake
mild tramatic experience......a missed tv show
on the calender...valentines day or christmas
a supernatural character....unicorn
Date....... November 11th 1111
day of the week : Thursday or Saturday
time of day : 11:11 AM
planet : Saturn
direction : South
liquid : Diet Dr. Pepper
stone : rare one
tree : weeping willow
bird : colorful parrot
tool : hammer
plant : fern
kind of weather : Snow
historical figure : Laura Ingalls Wilder
mythical creature : Unicorn
animal : some sort of Wild cat,
sea animal : Dolphin
color : Royal blue or bight yellow
emotion or mood : Pleasure
musical instrument : piano
sound : children playing but not too loud
element : fire
car : A blue sports car with a yellow lighting bolt
song : "Butterfly kisses"
sin : Lust
movie directed by: Steven Speilberg
comic strip character : Betty Boop
piece of furniture : a featherbed
vegetable : broccoli
food : butter cream icing
place : Disney land
Planet:saturn
material : denim
taste : butter cream icing
scent : vanilla
religion : Christianity
word : fun
object : computer
body part : here use your imagination
facial expression : smile
subject in school : Art
cartoon character : Betty Boop
shape : heart
number : eleven




My 100+ facts
Everyone is doing this now. I love using eveyone else and checking what applys to me. But I decided to do my own. Please feel free to use mine. Also send me any if I don't have it in my about me entry.Only read if your open minded and mature. Only read if you want to know the REAL me.
Stuff Deviant art should add to Devious Information...
My 100+ facts
Insturctions copy and paste into your jounal. put *OR BOLD
the one that apply to you or delete the ones that don't.
1. My mother commited sucide when I was 20 she was 40.
2. My best friend Died of a heart attact at 20. She had 3 kids the youngest was 1 week.
3. I have cerebal palsey.
4. I have socialphobia
5. I am obsessive compulsive.
6. I've only had one job in my life and it was part time.It was in a church nursey and the got rid of me cuz I was disabiled.


11. I'm agaist censorship.
12 I'm somewhat religous. Jesus is my saviorbut I don't go to church. Church people can be the biggest hypicrits.
13 my favorite pizza is not with tomato sauce but with garlic butter, chicken, itilian sauage, pepperonii, breakfast bacon and tons of cheddar chesse.
14. I'm very shy, introvertive, but talkive.
15. I have lots of books but never read.
16. I'm extremly sentive, get my feeling hurt real easy and cry very easy.
.
18. My 5 lbs chihuahua is my pride and joy.
19. I kinda hate my cats. mostly one of them

21. I love to drink.
22. I'm trying to get pregant. don't worry I'm not doing 20 and 21 when trying.
23. I hated to go to School. I never went. Once I messed 56 day in a year.
24. I never knew my dad.

26 My hubby is in a wheelchair and can't walk.
27. I'm afraid of getting a job.
28. In graduated junior college where I majored in psycology minored in religon and socialogy.
29. I made bad grade(vc's d's f's) in school until I quit and went back then I mostly got A's and B's
30 I weight about 250lbs and am about 5'2.
31 I hate myself sometimes
32 I desprately want to be accepted as I turely am.
33. I'm a terrible liarer and rarely lie.
34. when i was growing up I wanted to be a teacher now if I were to get a job it would be with kids of computers.
35/ I feel like a terrible person sometimes.
36. Over all I think I'm a good persons
38. I have many issues and problems.
39. I like people to know everything about me.
40. I think my mom was abad mom even though she didn't abuse me, drink, do drugs, party, or have guys around.
41. I idolize my grandpa.
42 I'm an only child.
43.I'm addicted to soap operas.
44.i'm addicted to diet dr. pepper.
45. I'm lazy.
46.I've lived here almost 3 years and still haven't finshed packing.
47. I have no pics on my wall
48 I hate cooking.
49.I love sleeping and dreaming.
50.Little house on the prairie is my favorite show. I fantatize i'm laura and I've been bad.
51.I have a brown thumb.

53. my IQ is 110.
54. I feel stupid for telling you all this
55. I'm a child at heart and love childlike stuff.
56. i collect Stickers.
57.I love kids.
58. I have an inferiority complex
59. I'm obsessive Compulsive.
60. I love food that is bad for you.
61. I hate food good for you.
62. I have no friends of my own right now they were all hubby's friend first.
63.i love learning.
64. i hate exercise.
65. I have a speech problem.
66. I walk funny.
67. I have always had a good skin complexion.
68. I'm a causal dresser. I don't care about fashion.
69. My computer is in the living room. I always work on the pc and watch tv at the same time. I live in this chair.
70. I care too much about what people think.
71. I hate chatting on line but should more to make friend.

73. I'm addicted to techtv's call for help and screensavers.
74.I'm a bbw. I do think I'm pretty despite my weight and disability.
75.I love thril rides.
76. I love thinking games but hate games where you just walk around a board.

79.If I could do anything I'd dance and do gymnastics.
80.I'm insecure
81.I'm an only child.
82. I'm a night owl
83.I love rpgs but hardly play them.
84.I love creamy foods.
85. I love Tv and movies.
86. I hate coffee.
87. I love creamy foods.
89.'m not a good housekeeper.
90.I'm taking a photoshop class soon.
91. I only cuss at home with hubby.
92.Chicken, pizza, steak, pasta, cheese, ice cream, and chicoalate candy, cake with buttercream icingare my fav foods.
93.I love sims game.
94. my brain never stops working. I wish it would shut up.
95.I've only been out of texas twice.
96. I love collecting pics on my screenpaver screensaver.
97.
98. I've never been with a girl.
99.I hate snobs and arrogant people most.
100. I'm very open minded.
101. I hate judgemental people
102. I'm terrible with spelling grammer and typing.
103 I was a very good kid. I never hardily got in any trouble except for not going to school and not doing my chorus.
104. I;m a spoiled brat.
105. I have hernated disk in my lower back and neck
106.My fav resturants are Olive Garden, Red Lobster,China Jade, and Bamboo garden
107.my drink of choice is beer but I like wine, pina coladas with tequilla, and coke or egg nogg with rum , tequilla, or crown royal.
108.I sometimes take too much prescription drugs and/or over the counter drugs to sleep or feel good.
109.Growing up I had an imaganary friend named Duh..... This was before the expression Duh started.
110.When a memory plays in my head I don't want to deal with comes to my mind I say stupid things to my self like " i wish this day was over", "I wish everyone would leave me alone( mostly the time I'm alone when this happens)", " Ihate my life" , and even sometimes "I wish I was dead"
111. I like weenie and cheese cooked in the microwave.
112.I used to cook sliced cheese in the oven by it self.
113. I like frying roast and brisk in a skillet.
114.I like cooked honeycombs cereal.
115.Neither hubby nor I can drive.
116.my favorite perfume is White diamonds. I also like vanilla and lavander sense
117. Hubby and I met on our transportation disabled bus system
118. I have a terrible time making friends.
119.I have a hard time trusting people.
120.I feel like most people can't/wont understand me.
121. I can't bring myself to get rid of any books that I own.
122. I eat with my hands whenever possible.
123. I cry very easily.
124. I love drawing with big Crayola markers.
125. I've lived my entire life in the Dallas metroplex.
126. When I was younger I made some bad decisions

128. I love sleeping
129. I have loads of books
130. I slept in a bathroom stall sitting on the toilet
131. I love playing video games
132.edited

134. People are cool.
135. I have a lot to learn
136. I've never broken someone's bones
137. I love Chinese food
138. I would hate to be famous
139. I am not a morning person
140. I wear glasses
141. I can ramble on about absolutely nothing
142. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight
143. I spend too much time on the computer
144. I'd like to be more original
145. I've lied
146. I wonder what happens when you die
147.. I hate chemistry with a passion
148. I hate dish washing
149. I should be doing somehting else rather than writing this
150. I am online a lot, but not in MSN
151. I'm very disorganized
152. I keep a diary
153. I can't do cartwheels
154. I am very lazy, selfish
155. I'm sarcastic
156. I'm very sensitive
157. I love being "ab-normal"



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